| Achievement | Unlocked | Visibility | Global Unlocks | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. |
2017-11-22 01:50:27 | 10.5% | ||
|
Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
2017-11-12 11:50:53 | 3.1% | ||
|
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days. |
2017-11-12 11:49:55 | 9.4% | ||
|
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb. |
2017-11-12 11:48:40 | 10.5% | ||
|
Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. |
2017-11-12
10:34:35
|
13.3% | ||
|
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people. |
2017-11-12
10:29:33
|
16.9% | ||
|
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday. |
2017-11-12 08:31:50 | 14.1% | ||
|
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. |
2017-11-12
02:32:58
|
8.7% | ||
|
Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. |
2017-11-12 02:21:35 | 9.8% | ||
|
John Rambo'd!
Made a very long killing spree. |
2017-11-12 02:06:27 | 7.7% | ||
|
Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday. |
2017-11-11 14:29:32 | 17.6% | ||
|
Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs. |
2017-11-11
14:02:43
|
5.0% | ||
|
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day. |
2017-11-11 13:12:01 | 8.8% | ||
|
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday. |
2017-11-11 13:11:10 | 20.6% | ||
|
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. |
2017-11-11 13:07:20 | 18.4% | ||
|
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. |
2017-11-11 09:39:35 | 4.4% | ||
|
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. |
2017-11-11
09:25:33
|
15.8% | ||
|
Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
2017-11-11
09:18:51
|
8.3% | ||
|
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch. |
2017-11-11 09:17:07 | 18.5% | ||
|
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. |
2017-11-11 09:16:01 | 9.4% | ||
|
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. |
2017-11-11 09:08:47 | 23.9% | ||
|
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
2017-11-11
09:07:15
|
5.5% | ||
|
Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors. |
2017-11-11
08:53:53
|
3.7% | ||
|
FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits. |
2017-11-10 15:19:32 | 14.6% | ||
|
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Found one of the hidden underground sewers. |
2017-11-10 09:00:30 | 16.9% | ||
|
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday. |
2017-11-10 08:58:07 | 26.3% | ||
|
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. |
2017-11-10
08:32:17
|
18.3% | ||
|
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. |
2017-11-10 08:25:49 | 4.8% | ||
|
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. |
2017-11-09 14:54:04 | 9.1% | ||
|
Ape Gape
Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive. |
2017-11-05 05:58:40 | 4.7% | ||
|
C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday. |
2017-11-05 05:46:26 | 32.5% | ||
|
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. |
2017-11-05 05:23:30 | 6.1% | ||
|
RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 10 people in the balls. |
2017-11-05
05:21:50
|
9.3% | ||
|
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars. |
2017-11-05
05:18:19
|
9.5% | ||
|
Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. |
2017-11-05 05:14:38 | 15.3% | ||
|
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library. |
2017-11-04 15:07:19 | 20.4% | ||
|
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death. |
2017-11-04 14:31:27 | 6.5% | ||
|
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. |
2017-11-04 14:28:42 | 29.8% | ||
|
There's always money in the banana stand
Found the secret bank exit on Monday. |
2017-11-04 14:20:35 | 9.8% | ||
|
Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick. |
2017-11-04 14:11:49 | 11.1% | ||
|
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way. |
2017-11-04 14:04:01 | 9.5% | ||
|
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. |
2017-11-04 13:53:21 | 30.3% | ||
|
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire. |
2017-11-04 13:51:29 | 37.1% | ||
|
Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. |
2017-11-04 13:39:31 | 8.5% | ||
|
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. |
2017-11-04
13:27:35
|
26.7% | ||
|
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. |
2017-11-04 13:26:46 | 33.4% | ||
|
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head. |
2017-11-04 13:26:31 | 32.2% | ||
|
Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. |
2017-11-04 01:01:26 | 5.4% | ||
|
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. |
2017-02-23 13:36:17 | 12.9% | ||
|
Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. |
2017-02-23 13:13:35 | 51.2% | ||
|
Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition. |
2017-02-21 15:15:55 | 44.5% | ||
|
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday. |
2017-02-21 15:11:18 | 51.2% | ||
|
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. |
2017-02-21 15:09:14 | 61.1% | ||
|
R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. |
2017-02-21 15:07:02 | 65.9% | ||
|
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. |
2017-02-21 15:05:19 | 48.5% | ||
|
Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. |
2017-02-21 14:53:03 | 29.4% | ||
|
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss. |
2017-02-21 14:29:15 | 36.2% | ||
|
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door. |
2017-02-21 14:24:36 | 55.6% | ||
|
Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper. |
2017-02-21 14:24:21 | 46.9% | ||
|
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads. |
|
9.2% | ||
|
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog. |
|
6.5% | ||
|
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. |
5.3% | |||
|
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire. |
|
19.7% | ||
|
Gary vs. The K. Man
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse. |
4.1% | |||
|
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. |
4.2% | |||
|
Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. |
4.1% | |||
|
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us! |
12.5% | |||
|
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. |
3.4% | |||
|
You are not alone
Observed an NPC going POSTAL! |
13.2% | |||
|
Ladies Love Cake
Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake. |
3.9% | |||
|
PooMasher
Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it. |
3.7% | |||
|
Hobo Sexual
Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward. |
3.8% | |||
|
Gettin DP'd
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding. |
4.9% | |||
|
Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion. |
4.6% | |||
|
My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills. |
3.1% | |||
|
Ginger Mint
Killed Zack Ward. |
6.2% | |||
|
Dick Message
Wasted no time with the Wise Wang. |
4.6% | |||
|
GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend. |
8.3% | |||
|
Ode to Eddings
Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units. |
3.4% | |||
|
Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty. |
3.1% | |||
|
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone. |
3.4% | |||
|
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader. |
5.6% | |||
|
Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy. |
6.9% | |||
|
BioShocked
Spent $2000 on vending machines. |
4.8% | |||
|
Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame. |
6.2% | |||
|
SCREW that game!
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. |
4.5% | |||
|
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) |
3.6% | |||
|
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
3.8% | |||
|
Found 'em faster than GWB
Discovered the hidden Taliban base. |
8.4% |