Achievement Unlocked Visibility Global Unlocks
My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
2021-02-14 21:06:02 3.1%
Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
2021-02-14 21:06:01 3.1%
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
2021-02-14 03:43:19 3.6%
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
2021-02-14 03:26:47 3.8%
Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
2021-02-14 03:26:47 4.1%
Gettin DP'd
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
2021-02-13 03:28:24
4.9%
PooMasher
Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
2021-02-13 03:27:50
3.7%
Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion.
2021-02-13 03:01:54 4.6%
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
2021-02-12 19:05:18 5.6%
Ode to Eddings
Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
2021-02-12 05:47:07
3.4%
Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame.
2021-02-12 03:51:16 6.1%
Ladies Love Cake
Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
2021-02-12 03:49:31
3.9%
Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
2021-02-12 00:29:45 9.7%
BioShocked
Spent $2000 on vending machines.
2021-02-11 23:54:43
4.8%
Ginger Mint
Killed Zack Ward.
2021-02-11 04:55:06
6.1%
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
2021-02-11 04:47:44 3.4%
Hobo Sexual
Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
2021-02-11 03:57:50
3.8%
Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
2021-02-11 03:33:52
3.7%
Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy.
2021-02-11 02:56:55 6.9%
Dick Message
Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
2021-02-10 13:46:12
4.6%
GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend.
2021-02-10 06:20:13 8.3%
Ape Gape
Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
2021-02-10 05:32:49
4.7%
Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
2021-01-18 03:08:03 5.4%
Found 'em faster than GWB
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
2021-01-16 04:17:48
8.4%
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
2021-01-16 04:07:37
16.9%
Gary vs. The K. Man
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
2021-01-16 04:02:06
4.1%
SCREW that game!
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
2021-01-16 02:57:33
4.5%
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
2021-01-16 02:49:44 18.4%
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
2021-01-16 02:32:32 18.5%
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
2021-01-15 22:59:34 6.1%
You are not alone
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
2021-01-15 22:59:30
13.1%
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
2021-01-15 16:29:23
5.5%
Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
2021-01-15 16:28:16
8.3%
FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits.
2021-01-15 16:22:56 14.5%
Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
2021-01-15 16:21:04 15.3%
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
2021-01-15 15:59:15 4.8%
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
2021-01-15 15:45:06
8.6%
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
2021-01-15 15:21:01 9.4%
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
2021-01-15 15:19:58 32.1%
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
2021-01-15 15:17:51
15.8%
A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
2021-01-15 15:16:51 10.5%
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
2021-01-15 15:13:38 9.4%
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
2021-01-15 14:40:23
19.7%
John Rambo'd!
Made a very long killing spree.
2021-01-15 14:39:24
7.6%
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
2021-01-15 14:38:44
18.3%
Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
2021-01-15 14:36:03
13.3%
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
2021-01-15 14:27:09 4.4%
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
2021-01-15 13:56:39 9.1%
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars.
2021-01-15 13:29:06
9.5%
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
2021-01-14 05:31:00 36.1%
Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
2021-01-14 05:29:28 11.0%
RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 10 people in the balls.
2021-01-14 05:27:27
9.2%
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
2021-01-14 05:24:34
12.5%
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
2021-01-14 04:26:33 20.3%
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death.
2021-01-14 04:20:33 6.5%
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
2021-01-14 03:48:26
6.5%
Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
2021-01-14 03:23:52 8.5%
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
2021-01-14 03:23:34 12.8%
Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
2021-01-14 00:47:47 29.3%
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
2021-01-14 00:45:46 30.2%
There's always money in the banana stand
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
2021-01-12 00:11:05
9.7%
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
2021-01-11 23:40:46
5.3%
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
2021-01-11 19:33:25 9.3%
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
2021-01-11 19:30:34 10.5%
Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs.
2021-01-11 19:15:24
4.9%
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
2021-01-11 19:02:22 55.5%
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
2021-01-08 23:45:28
16.9%
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
2021-01-08 03:31:14
9.2%
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday.
2021-01-08 03:21:37 14.1%
Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday.
2021-01-07 03:44:44 17.5%
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire.
2021-01-06 04:42:51 37.1%
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
2021-01-05 04:53:44 23.8%
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
2021-01-05 04:23:13 8.8%
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday.
2021-01-05 04:21:26 20.5%
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday.
2021-01-04 22:23:34 26.2%
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
2021-01-04 20:05:29 33.4%
Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper.
2021-01-04 20:03:01 46.9%
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
2021-01-04 20:01:39
26.6%
C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday.
2021-01-04 19:58:18 32.4%
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
2021-01-04 19:56:14 61.1%
R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
2021-01-04 19:48:12 65.8%
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
2021-01-04 18:39:18 29.7%
Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
2021-01-04 18:08:17 44.4%
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday.
2021-01-04 18:00:58 51.1%
Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
2021-01-04 17:57:55 51.2%
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
2021-01-04 05:02:57 48.5%
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
3.4%
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
4.2%
Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
3.1%