Achievement | Unlocked | Visibility | Global Unlocks | |
---|---|---|---|---|
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. |
2015-12-04
20:21:04
|
26.8% | ||
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss. |
2015-12-04 20:20:03 | 36.2% | ||
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. |
2015-12-04 20:17:27 | 61.2% | ||
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door. |
2015-12-04 20:12:20 | 55.6% | ||
R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. |
2015-12-04 20:05:48 | 65.9% | ||
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. |
18.4% | |||
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars. |
9.6% | |||
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. |
9.2% | |||
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. |
48.6% | |||
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. |
12.9% | |||
Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper. |
46.9% | |||
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog. |
6.5% | |||
Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs. |
|
5.0% | ||
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. |
5.3% | |||
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
5.6% | |||
Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
8.3% | |||
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. |
24.0% | |||
FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits. |
14.6% | |||
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. |
4.8% | |||
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire. |
37.2% | |||
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire. |
19.8% | |||
Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. |
51.2% | |||
Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday. |
17.7% | |||
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days. |
9.4% | |||
Gary vs. The K. Man
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse. |
4.1% | |||
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. |
18.5% | |||
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. |
33.5% | |||
Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. |
8.6% | |||
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. |
4.2% | |||
Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. |
5.5% | |||
Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. |
4.1% | |||
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us! |
12.6% | |||
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head. |
32.2% | |||
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library. |
20.4% | |||
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch. |
18.6% | |||
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. |
30.4% | |||
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday. |
51.3% | |||
John Rambo'd!
Made a very long killing spree. |
7.7% | |||
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day. |
8.8% | |||
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. |
3.4% | |||
Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition. |
44.6% | |||
You are not alone
Observed an NPC going POSTAL! |
13.2% | |||
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people. |
|
17.0% | ||
Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. |
13.4% | |||
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. |
29.9% | |||
Ladies Love Cake
Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake. |
3.9% | |||
PooMasher
Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it. |
3.7% | |||
Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors. |
3.7% | |||
Hobo Sexual
Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward. |
3.8% | |||
Gettin DP'd
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding. |
4.9% | |||
Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion. |
4.6% | |||
My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills. |
3.1% | |||
Ginger Mint
Killed Zack Ward. |
6.2% | |||
Dick Message
Wasted no time with the Wise Wang. |
4.6% | |||
GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend. |
8.3% | |||
Ape Gape
Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive. |
4.8% | |||
RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 10 people in the balls. |
|
9.3% | ||
Ode to Eddings
Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units. |
3.4% | |||
Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty. |
3.1% | |||
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone. |
3.5% | |||
Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
3.1% | |||
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader. |
5.6% | |||
Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy. |
6.9% | |||
BioShocked
Spent $2000 on vending machines. |
4.8% | |||
Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame. |
6.2% | |||
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. |
4.4% | |||
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. |
6.1% | |||
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. |
8.7% | |||
SCREW that game!
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. |
4.5% | |||
Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. |
29.5% | |||
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday. |
14.2% | |||
There's always money in the banana stand
Found the secret bank exit on Monday. |
9.8% | |||
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) |
3.6% | |||
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. |
15.9% | |||
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) |
3.8% | |||
Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. |
15.3% | |||
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way. |
9.5% | |||
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb. |
10.5% | |||
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday. |
20.7% | |||
Found 'em faster than GWB
Discovered the hidden Taliban base. |
8.4% | |||
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Found one of the hidden underground sewers. |
17.0% | |||
C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday. |
32.6% | |||
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday. |
26.4% | |||
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. |
9.5% | |||
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads. |
9.3% | |||
A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. |
10.7% | |||
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death. |
6.5% | |||
Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick. |
11.1% | |||
Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. |
9.8% |