| Achievement | Unlocked | Visibility | Global Unlocks | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Master Unlocker
Collect enough milk to fill the tank. |
2019-02-27 06:32:51 | 3.8% | ||
|
Magnetic Basshole
Win Lights Out in under five seconds. |
2019-02-27 06:03:58 | 3.7% | ||
|
My Precious
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings. |
2019-02-27 05:37:17 | 3.2% | ||
|
The Perfect Partner
Marry yourself in Abstinence. |
2019-02-27 05:36:46 | 4.0% | ||
|
Safety First
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles. |
2019-02-27 05:34:31 | 3.0% | ||
|
Fussy Lover
Save yourself for that special orgy. |
2019-02-27 04:27:32 | 1.1% | ||
|
Spare Wheel
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus. |
2019-02-27 04:18:20 | 4.7% | ||
|
Always Finishes First
Good at video games. Terrible at sex. |
2019-02-27 04:13:19 | 6.6% | ||
|
Autopaedicatio
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode. |
2019-02-27 04:06:41 | 6.7% | ||
|
A Better John
Start taking responsibility for you actions. |
2019-02-27 04:01:05 | 11.2% | ||
|
Early Bird
Swallow every worm. |
2019-02-27 03:59:49 | 1.6% | ||
|
Sleep No More
Don't let sleeping dongs lie. |
2019-02-27 03:55:08 | 1.5% | ||
|
Clumsy
Die a lot of times in your nightmares. |
2019-02-27 03:11:00 | 6.1% | ||
|
Bulking Gear
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains. |
2019-02-27 02:58:32 | 1.5% | ||
|
Swan Tamer
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill. |
2019-02-27 02:50:55 | 10.4% | ||
|
Self Defence
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests. |
2019-02-27 02:49:02 | 15.8% | ||
|
Appalling Appetite
You should see a doctor immediately. |
2019-02-27 02:45:19 | 1.2% | ||
|
Popcorn Buffet
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn. |
2019-02-27 02:43:51 | 3.3% | ||
|
Summer Job
Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker. |
2019-02-27 02:22:12 | 4.2% | ||
|
Meet Your Maker
Penetrate God. |
2019-02-27 02:20:22 | 3.0% | ||
|
Paperwork
Submit your monthly physical report. |
2019-02-27 01:59:19 | 2.1% | ||
|
Fire Inspector
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety. |
2019-02-27 01:47:00 | 32.0% | ||
|
Couch Party
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game. |
2019-02-27 01:31:35 | 1.2% | ||
|
Till Death Do Us
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard. |
2019-02-27 01:10:30 | 9.2% | ||
|
Generous Lover
Finish last in a Party Mode game. |
2019-02-27 00:52:36 | 31.7% | ||
|
Most Improved Tapulator
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu. |
2019-02-27 00:37:18 | 4.7% | ||
|
Go Left
Move to the left. |
2019-02-27 00:29:47 | 45.0% | ||
|
Go Right
Move to the right. |
2019-02-27 00:29:45 | 44.9% |